Do Words Really Hurt?

Do you remember the childhood saying " Stick and stones will hurt my bones but words will never hurt me"
I remember reciting that quote throughout my childhood. I was teased a lot as a child and even then I realized that words hurt too.  I still remember some of the hateful things that kids said to me growing up. Throughout the years I have learned to accept and love the things that I was teased about but it took me awhile to get there. 

With that being said I believe that words hurt just as much as a punch to the face, especially when the words are said by someone you love.  Even as an adult I let people words affect me.  Sometimes I let what people say affect my mood, and I still don't know why.  Now I don't know if words hurt me because its the truth (because you know they say that the truth hurts) or are people just that thoughtless about what comes out of their mouth.  I think it can be a little of both. I know that I can't expect people to be the way that I want them to be but they can be thoughtful in the whole process.  I just want people to treat me the way I treat them. Talk to me the way I talk to them. Some people feel like that they can't get their point across unless they are harsh about it, like I am capable of getting the point without you being ugly.

I try to not hurt people with my words.  I used to be harsh with my words, mostly when I'm angry, but that's not an excuse.  Most times, it is not about what is being said but how it is being said.  In 2010 and this year I have really been working on my delivery.  When it comes to certain people I sensor myself a little. I have started to pick and choose my words carefully, just like I pick and choose my arguments. Sometimes it is not even worth the time.

And why is it that people don't know how to keep their mouth shut.  Shut up sometimes, we could have finished this conversation without that last little tidbit you just had to throw in there.  Why is it that some people must have the last word.  I just want to scream Shut The Fuck Up!!!!!

For people words not to affect me, I have to change my mindset.  I can tell myself all day long that I am not going to let what someone say affect me but at the end of the day, I do.  I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I get defensive and try to explain my actions, hell I'm grown, why do I have to explain my actions to another grown motherfucker.  I don't have to, that's a choice I choose to make every time I feel that somebody  words have affected me. I got to do better.

I am a work in progress, I can't say that enough.  Everyday is a lesson learned.

Surprise.......

I get a phone call on this past Thursday night from a friend, asking if I wanted to go to the House of Blues, it was a concert that night. When she told me who was performing, I couldn't believe my ears. Guess who it was, drum roll please......................

She is one of my favorite artist. I have all three of her albums.  I was so excited, words cannot explain.  Let's just say that I was up there singing every song.  I love a good concert and she put one on.  It was a short show but still good nonetheless.  Her voice was so melodic. She sung her best songs. 

OMG...... my friends invite, made my day & week. Everytime I think about the show, a smile magically appears across my face.

When was the last time any of you went to a good concert?

Progress.....

So as you many of you know, I have been on this journery to get myself healthy.  It hasn't been an easy process because I am an emotional eater.  Over the years though I have made changes to the way I eat, what I eat, and getting exercise.  Now don't get me wrong there are days where I just don't care and eat what I want but those days are so far and few between.  The kicker is when I do have those days, I know what needs to be done to get myself back on track. I mentioned earlier that I would post some pics of my progess over the years so here they go........





Sept. 08









Dec.08



May 09



July 09



NYE 09

July 2010

As you can see I have come a long way.  I will continue to update you on my progrress while I continue this process.

Alter Ego

I belong to a social organization. It's just a small group of women who gather each month.  Each month a different member of the group plans the monthly meeting and for the month of February the theme was Alter Ego.  The photographer Derek Blanks made Alter Ego photo shoots popular. I was so excited for the meeting because I couldn't wait to dress up and I couldn't wait to see what everyone else's Alter Ego was.  A lot of different people showed up, we had video vixen, a basketball wife, a ho, a stepford wife, a dominatrix, that's all I remember and then there was me.  I chose to go as a ballerina. I chose ballerina because when I was growing up I took ballet and I always enjoyed it and when I used to watch the Alvin Ailey videos, I always said to myself that's going to be me.  Well life took me down a different path.  So here is a picture of me dressed up as my alter ego. If I say so myself I look fierce. 

 I made my own tutu.  I was going to buy a tutu but my BF was like you should make it, go on YouTube to see how.  So I went on YouTube, found a video and I was like  I can do this. This is easy, all I need is 5 yards.  Oh yeah.  Ummmm..........  no.  That 5 yard was for a little girl,  I ended up going back to the store to get more material 3 times, I believe that I used like 26 yards of fabric.  Even though I was frustrated I survived the whole tutu making process.  I hated it at first.  I thought is was horrible because of something I added to the back but I took it out and I was happy with the outcome you see.   I plan on making my great niece one for her rock star princess birthday.  I'm in the tutu making business.  lol......

The Wire

I know that I am a few years behind, but how many of you out there watched the show The Wire on HBO.  At home we always had HBO and not once did I ever watch this series.  Since people are always raving about it I decided to go to Blockbuster to see what it is all about.  I spent most of the weekend glued to my television and I am done with Season 1.  Let's just say I am HOOKED.  Man that street lifestyle is something else. I know that the show was written by a crime reporter and an ex homicide detective, but is it really like that?  Are the projects really that bad, is that how dope was sold.  I think that is what makes me like the show so much because all this is so new to me.  I mean you got Wallace and Poot living in some raggedy apartment stealing electricity from another apartment across the street. You got Omar robbing people stash houses. On one episode Omar was walking in the projects with a shotgun, whistling a nursery rhyme, people are running & screaming "Omar is coming." It is just crazy. 

I also wanted to say that Idris Elba had swag back then playing Stringer Bell.  Its like he couldn't be touched. Stringer and Avon are always in the background making calculated moves. Now if Idris Elba talked in his native tongue while portraying Stringer I would be squirming in my seat while watching.

The point is I like the show and I can't wait to finish the whole series.  How many of you out there enjoyed the Wire.

Rejection

According to the dictionary rejection is derived from the verb reject which means to refuse, to accept.

Since I have been out of a job, I have been rejected too many times to count. In the beginning I was able to deal with the rejection but as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, and the months into years the rejection is getting old. Some days I feel as if I can't handle it. This post came to mind as I was checking my email and I received an email from a potential employer. I interviewed with this company twice in one week and today I get the "generic email" about how they have chosen another candidate. I took the time out to interview with you twice, you did not validate my parking, and I had to stand in a cold ass warehouse for at least 15 minutes each time while someone from your office came down to retrieve me. I feel that I at least deserve a phone call. I sat with you for 30 minutes each time, and its not like this position is a full time opportunity but a seasonal part time position. ARRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!Most companies these days are cowards. If you can't tell I am upset.

After each generic email or failed interview, I say to myself, "well that job just wasn't meant for me and my job is out there waiting on me" I am starting to wonder when will my job come along. I just have to keep the faith,stay positive and believe that it will happen.

Deuces.......

New Name

As you can see, I have officially renamed myself. After careful thought and consideration, I have decided on A Cup of Jo.

So whenever you feel like having a cup of Jo, just stop by and pay me a visit. Hopefully my post won't be so spaced out in the near future.